Thursday, February 21, 2008

Shocking New Edison Chen Photo Revealed!

In this update to our previous blog about Edison Chen, we have exclusively obtained the latest racy photo in Hong Kong's "Sexy Photo Gate" scandal.

Mr. Chen held a press conference today announcing his retirement from show business in order to, as he puts it, "give myself an opportunity to heal myself."

Watch his press conference below:

Previous photos leaked to the Internet by a mysterious figure called "Kira" have shown Edison cavorting with such Hong Kong luminaries as Gillian Chung, Cecilia Cheung, and Bobo Chan. Through sources that do not wish to be named, we at have exclusively obtained the latest photo, the most shocking and revealing of all:

...Further developments to come!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Greatest Film Soundtrack Composers

Please check out this video I put together showcasing some of the greatest film score composers of all time:

Here are the songs featured in the video:

John Barry - Dusk at Piz Gloria (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
Akira Ifukube - Title Credits (Destroy All Monsters)
Bernard Herrmann - Main Title (North By Northwest)
John Williams - The Asteroid Field (The Empire Strikes Back)
Max Steiner - The Adventures of Don Juan
Lalo Schifrin - Magnum Force Theme
Henry Mancini - A Shot in the Dark
Jerry Goldsmith - Ave Santini (The Omen)
Erich Wolfgang Korngold - March of the Merry Men (The Adventures of Robin Hood)
Miklos Rosza - Prelude/Car Crash/Rigby Reardon-Private Dick/Enter Juliet (Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid)
Ennio Morricone - Man with a Harmonica (Once Upon a Time in the West)

If you're a soundtrack fan, check out these "I NEED TO SCORE" t-shirts we designed:

Film Score Monthly called them "stylish and exciting."

Edison Chen's Spectacular Miscalculation!

The big news rocking Hong Kong for the past month has been the whopper of a blunder by HK popstar/moviestar Edison Chen, who took his cotton-candy pink, custom-made Apple laptop to get repaired – somehow forgetting that it held countless graphic photos of him having sex with most of the major starlets in the HK entertainment industry, including huge stars Gillian Chung, Cecilia Cheung, and Bobo Chan. Nearly 1,300 photos of major celebrities in various states of undress exploded across the Internet.

The bad news for Edison (besides already being cut from future movie projects and endorsement contracts) is that almost all of the ladies he is seen with in these racy photos are under contract to triad-controlled agencies (including the 16-year old niece of Albert Yeung, head of the Emperor Entertainment Group). Loss of their all-important chaste image in the HK entertainment industry means a major loss of revenue for some very tough people, and Edison's going to have a target on his head. He's currently hiding out in North America, probably living in fear for his life.

FYI: Edison Chen will be seen in a cameo in this summer's Batman movie, The Dark Knight, which is now officially a cursed production.

Check out Edison's incredible video statement:

Read about it in the Wall Street Journal

Detailed Wikipedia entry on "Sexy Photo Gate"

CNN video:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Cornering the Man-Tan Market?

This stunning and ever-so-fashionable gentleman is Paris Hilton's publicist, Elliot Mintz.

When I first saw this picture my stomache made an "urp" sound and I felt like taking a shower.

Greatest Waste of TV Airtime Award Goes To...

American Idol's Josiah Leming, the most self-absorbed, wrong-minded teen blunderkind to grace the airwaves this week!

Why the judges and producers decided to let this whining, infantile buffoon continue as far as he has is baffling. The greatest favor anyone could have done for this young man, and America, is to have doused him with icewater and instantly sent him packing with the word "talentless" superimposed over his whining, delusional face. This young man needs a dose of reality in the worst way. To imagine this mediocre, tacky, off-key stupe leaving his family to childishly live in his car and pursue his pie-eyed dreams of a career in music is sad. Add to that his off-key, vapid, Coldplay-imitating, fake-British-accent vocals, and we have a winner of a loser.

This photo, from his myspace page (so many homeless teens living in cars have myspace webpages these days), should inspire society to create a powerful space cannon in order to propel this kid into the farthest reaches of space, where his special brand of entitlement will not appear on network television and influence any other kids to try their hand at being an ass. His self-penned caption underneath the photo reads:

a little something for all the lovely ladies ( :

In conclusion , I'd like to say that you've also gotta love when an 18-year-old white kid refers to his synthesizer as "The Keys."

Monday, February 11, 2008

Farewell and Adieu Roy Scheider

While riding a bus on the upper west side of Manhattan as a kid, I looked out and noticed Roy Scheider jogging along. None of the other passengers, who all happened to be French exchange students, noticed him as traffic allowed us match his pace while we made our way downtown. I quietly smiled to myself and mentally checked Roy Scheider's name on of my list of celebrities or personal heroes that I'd glimpsed on the streets of New York, as I'm sure many New Yorkers do when they stumble upon a notable person. About five minutes later, one of the French kids screamed out, "Qu'est que ce!? ... ROY SHEEEDARE!!!" and suddenly the windows of the bus were filled with kids hanging out, waving and calling to the star of "Les Dents de la Mer" in French like a bunch of schoolgirls would scream at the Beatles. Mr. Scheider looked over, waved and smiled without breaking his stride, and I admired his charming attitude and casual acceptance of a moment that seemed a bit surreal to me.

He passed away over the weekend, and I just wanted to note how his performance as Martin Brody in JAWS meant something to a lot of people all over the world, and definitely meant a lot to me. Here's to a time when real men were leading actors.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Rick Moranis is a Genius

In talking to some twentysomething friends of mine, I found that none of them were really familiar with Rick Moranis' work outside of Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Spaceballs, and Ghostbusters, which is very depressing to me. I'm posting some of my favorite sketches from SCTV in an effort to showcase just how funny Rick was back in the day – the Michael McDonald bit is one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen:

I got the complete SCTV series on DVD for Christmas, and I'm only just getting to watching them. If you've never seen any of SCTV, you're really missing out on some funny stuff.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Someone's Too Cool to Party in NJ

John Agnello, producer of such seminal bands as Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr., was spotted in one of our shirts on Brooklyn-based rockers The Hold Steady's website:




Samurai Poster Shirts

We've finally got our CHAMBARA POSTER shirt up on our website!

Since Sergio Leone lifted the plot of Akira Kurosawa's classic YOJIMBO to make his groundbreaking spaghetti western – A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS – we thought it would be cool to create a poster for an imaginary Kurosawa remake of Leone's masterpiece, THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY.

This original Shelf Life Clothing design is inspired by vintage samurai and spaghetti western movie posters, and imagines an all-star epic featuring Toshiro Mifune's "Sanjuro" character (The Good) crossing swords with "Zatoichi" himself, Shintaro Katsu (The Ugly), and Tatsuya Nakadai in "Sword of Doom" mode (The Bad).

Head over to our web site to check it out:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Deer in the Headlights

Designer Benjamin Cho really hit a home run at fashion week with this highly practical, hand-knit, deer "head scarf." You would have to imagine Björk was on the guest list. Thanks to my friend Shannon for the sending me this, she knows I like to follow the latest trends in deer head scarf fashion.

Is it just me, or does "head scarf" sound like something frat guys do as a hazing ritual?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


Just taking time out to highlight one of our t-shirts:

I Want Some Action is a super-soft, ring-spun, 100% cotton shirt featuring some of the greatest faces of tough guy action movies – Connery, Toshiro, Eastwood, Zatoichi, Alain Delon, Gordon Liu, Kurt Russell, Charles Bronson, Shaft, Santo, James Coburn, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Sammo Hung, Lee Marvin, Bruce Willis, Terence Hill, Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat and Sonny Chiba.

Check it out:

Monday, February 4, 2008

Ain't it Cool Bad Grammar?

Movie fans around the world have been subjected to reading some of the worst grammar imaginable for a few years now, due to the dominance of Ain't It Cool News as a source of upcoming film leaks, etc. It's a popular site that obviously makes money – so why don't they use spell check at least once every so often, or glance at a Chicago Manual of Style?

I've singled out some of the most convoluted and mistake-ridden sentences in "reviews" and updates written by Harry Knowles of, all found in ONE DAY (2/4/08) of postings on his main page. I realize they have to rush scoops out over there, but come on... Reading these sort of feels like someone typed out one of my headaches.

As a service to movie fans everywhere, I would like to offer my humble services as proofreader for the site – for a modest fee.

Check out these bizarre, mind-halting ramblings masquerading as sentences:

However, if you love Silver Age JUSTICE LEAGUE comics when the villains were typically things much larger and much more bizarre than the typical super-villain of the week.

What if there’s not shot of a toothy biting crotch monster – and instead it’s a film about empowering the victim – and giving her a strength and a power that is actually quite delicious – and allows the young innocent lamb to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing – striking at those that would fleece and cook the young lamb?

But HUD is “the best friend”.

What really struck me was the three names under the Screenplay by credit.

Jared found his great uncle’s Field Guide – and despite a note warning him not to read it… what kid wouldn’t open a book with a warning not to read it? But when he opens it – it sends out a beacon… as if to tell the world… “Some idiot has touched the book” – in a way – it’s like the ring in LORD OF THE RINGS – but instead of indeterminate powers of darkness… this book has the secrets of magic and creatures.

Since LORD OF THE RINGS and HARRY POTTER – there has been a ton of fantasy films coming out that want to become series.

But inbetween the awesome play of the New York Giants - making THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME look... meh... was this spot from WALL*E and Pixar. If you didn't know. This is going to be the film that you remember as being the film you saw in 2008, for the rest of your life. It will be mind-blowing and soul-affirming. And I can not count the seconds till it plays.

According to the highly reliable folks at Action-Figure.Com it seems that in the UK, at least, the first 3 episodes of Lucasfilm's animated CLONE WARS - will get theatrical distribution of the 90 minute film.


It's a tough thing as a real director to come into a project at this late a date.

This trailer just unleashed asskickery during the Super Bowl and resulted with the audience here at Geek HQ cheering...

The reason is – I thought he had a real eye for what I love about real women, that are real fun to love on. And his adult stories are the equivalent level of eroticism as all our girls read in those tawdry sweaty romance novels. Only shot for us guys to share with our ladies.

It's kinda like the best Lovecraft film ever, and it to has been colored.

Another solid Pinky Violence film – starring the originl Delinquent Girl Boss, Reiko Oshida, as the bad girl trying to go straight… but wouldn’t ya know it, just when she thought she got out, they pull her back in.

The writers on X-MEN through X3 never did nail what was great about that character, so Marsden never had the role that ultimately he had. This was mainly due to the strengthening of the Wolverine character. Then in his role in SUPERMAN RETURNS – he was very strong, but as a character that nobody wanted to have screen time, but he was really good.

An excellent film that’s only real fault is that it is not the first.

That said – for a Neil Jordan film – it feels like a lessor film.

As always – the dvd art and titles are clickable to Amazon where you can learn more about the titles, purchase them – and this column will be thankful by continuing to searching out the interesting works being released each and every week.

...Aren't nerds supposed to be smart?

CNN Headlines Gone Wild!

I am amazed at the monumental dumbing down of content on news sites over the last two years, and CNN really has taken the ball and run with it. At this point seem completely commited to getting unique Web hits (and ad revenue) by replicating the appeal of Youtube-style videos, rather than providing any sort of actual relevant news service.

Here are actual headlines for recent stories that CNN feels confident enough to call "Latest News."

Try reading them aloud in your best Walter Cronkite/serious newscaster voice:

Sasquatch: Fact or fiction?
Wealthy dogs love spaghetti dinners
XL underwear smothers fire
Lucy Liu wants her work to matter
Survey: No astronaut ever seen drunk on launch day
Grunty baby polar bear learns to crawl
Dr. Phil bums out Star Wars fanatic's wife
Governor's son sells 'Don't Drop the Soap'
Nuns-and-nude ad upsets Catholics
Spacecraft falling! Get set to duck?
Big shark chomps bitty shark at aquarium
Hello Kitty statue unveiled
Priest says church needs more exorcists
Is your child a 'Weepublican' or a 'Demoquat?'
Exploding whale is viral vid 38 years later
'Honey, Mommy has cancer'

Isn't there a war on?

Friday, February 1, 2008

Best Dressed Felon 2008 Contender

William Torres of Allentown, PA sports a stunning look as he is escorted from the police station to the jail.

As if his ensemble wasn't crime enough, he is accused of gunning down two men in cold blood. I'm assuming it was because they made fun of his cute slippers.

There's no fashion statement quite like a skull-covered white hoodie, overly groomed thin beard and satiny pj pants to let the world know: "I am a jackass."

I'm sure the other inmates are going to appreciate this bold look, and he's certainly raised the bar for other Best Dressed Felon contenders for the rest of the season.

Read his story...