Monday, February 4, 2008

Ain't it Cool Bad Grammar?

Movie fans around the world have been subjected to reading some of the worst grammar imaginable for a few years now, due to the dominance of Ain't It Cool News as a source of upcoming film leaks, etc. It's a popular site that obviously makes money – so why don't they use spell check at least once every so often, or glance at a Chicago Manual of Style?

I've singled out some of the most convoluted and mistake-ridden sentences in "reviews" and updates written by Harry Knowles of, all found in ONE DAY (2/4/08) of postings on his main page. I realize they have to rush scoops out over there, but come on... Reading these sort of feels like someone typed out one of my headaches.

As a service to movie fans everywhere, I would like to offer my humble services as proofreader for the site – for a modest fee.

Check out these bizarre, mind-halting ramblings masquerading as sentences:

However, if you love Silver Age JUSTICE LEAGUE comics when the villains were typically things much larger and much more bizarre than the typical super-villain of the week.

What if there’s not shot of a toothy biting crotch monster – and instead it’s a film about empowering the victim – and giving her a strength and a power that is actually quite delicious – and allows the young innocent lamb to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing – striking at those that would fleece and cook the young lamb?

But HUD is “the best friend”.

What really struck me was the three names under the Screenplay by credit.

Jared found his great uncle’s Field Guide – and despite a note warning him not to read it… what kid wouldn’t open a book with a warning not to read it? But when he opens it – it sends out a beacon… as if to tell the world… “Some idiot has touched the book” – in a way – it’s like the ring in LORD OF THE RINGS – but instead of indeterminate powers of darkness… this book has the secrets of magic and creatures.

Since LORD OF THE RINGS and HARRY POTTER – there has been a ton of fantasy films coming out that want to become series.

But inbetween the awesome play of the New York Giants - making THE GREATEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME look... meh... was this spot from WALL*E and Pixar. If you didn't know. This is going to be the film that you remember as being the film you saw in 2008, for the rest of your life. It will be mind-blowing and soul-affirming. And I can not count the seconds till it plays.

According to the highly reliable folks at Action-Figure.Com it seems that in the UK, at least, the first 3 episodes of Lucasfilm's animated CLONE WARS - will get theatrical distribution of the 90 minute film.


It's a tough thing as a real director to come into a project at this late a date.

This trailer just unleashed asskickery during the Super Bowl and resulted with the audience here at Geek HQ cheering...

The reason is – I thought he had a real eye for what I love about real women, that are real fun to love on. And his adult stories are the equivalent level of eroticism as all our girls read in those tawdry sweaty romance novels. Only shot for us guys to share with our ladies.

It's kinda like the best Lovecraft film ever, and it to has been colored.

Another solid Pinky Violence film – starring the originl Delinquent Girl Boss, Reiko Oshida, as the bad girl trying to go straight… but wouldn’t ya know it, just when she thought she got out, they pull her back in.

The writers on X-MEN through X3 never did nail what was great about that character, so Marsden never had the role that ultimately he had. This was mainly due to the strengthening of the Wolverine character. Then in his role in SUPERMAN RETURNS – he was very strong, but as a character that nobody wanted to have screen time, but he was really good.

An excellent film that’s only real fault is that it is not the first.

That said – for a Neil Jordan film – it feels like a lessor film.

As always – the dvd art and titles are clickable to Amazon where you can learn more about the titles, purchase them – and this column will be thankful by continuing to searching out the interesting works being released each and every week.

...Aren't nerds supposed to be smart?

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